Ponderings

Last year during the lockdown, the garden was my refuge, my oasis, my paradise, and yet there was something missing. And so to mark my 50th circumnavigation of the nearest star (and what a strange thing that is to celebrate) I decided to get myself something that I have dreamt of for as long as I have lived here: a swimming pond.

What is a swimming pond, I hear you ask, obligingly. Well, it isn’t a pool, first of all. You aim to create something that mimics the functioning of a lake to the largest extent possible, so as to have a real, beneficial effect for the local wildlife, that can use it as a habitat (think frogs, newts, water fowl, koi, the kraken) or a drinking hole (everyone else, to feed the kraken). But of course the idea is to be able to enjoy it if you happen to be hooman, too, so how do you combine the two?

The idea is to have a natural, self-cleaning system instead of having to add chlorine or similar. Water is pumped through a combination of aquatic plants and porous lava rock, and so is kept filtered and aerated much the same way a lake or a brook is. The difference is that in order avoid having to swim through too much muck, the plants are kept in a separate compartment inside the pond basin. Excess rain water is stored in two underground cisterns, and on days when heat causes evaporation the system automatically uses that stored water to ensure a stable water level.

So, that was the plan. After a couple of failed attempts I found a company, Ecoworks, that specialises in these types of ponds, and who sounded professional. There were several planning meetings where loads of ideas were tossed about, and eventually out. Instead of islands, Japanese bridges à la Monet, or waterfalls, we decided on a simple oval shape with a round wooden terrace at one end.

(In a way, that is a rather nifty description of life at 50: the more outrageous notions might never have come to fruition, but hopefully what you are left with instead is a harmonious, graceful entity – and if there is an occasional wistful yearning for islands and waterfalls, well, that is life, right?)

And so, after some hiccups (the first measurements were wrong, and the guy who was subcontracted to do the digging bowed out as a result) the project got underway in August. I was mightily stressed out by the sheer volume of work that needed to be done, and frankly concerned about the impact heavy machinery would have on the rest of the garden, but I needn’t have worried – the builders were pros, and friendly to a fault.

As load after load of soil was carted out of the garden and the lawn turned to muck, the project began to take shape; the outsized cisterns were sunk in the ground and covered up, the enormous, made-to-measure rubber liner was somehow wrangled into place, the plant scheme decided upon and executed, and finally this enormous moat was filled with water from the garden hose over a period of four days, and it all worked smoothly, in spite (or because) of last minute adjustments here and there.

The lesson here: if you have a dream project, the time for doing it is NOW. And if it doesn’t scare you, you ain’t dreaming big enough. Also – and this just might be universally applicable – chances are your dream project will look like a big muddy hole in the ground right up until it finally comes together.

And so we arrive at today. Mid October, mid life, a cold day and me with a cold to boot, but I wasn’t going to miss the premiere. If I can live the second half of my life in a way that reflects my pond – straddling the natural world and modern technology, adding beauty and doing good for the local flora and fauna (including my darling children) – then I shall be content. After all, if life is a beach, it is nice to be able to go for a swim, and sometimes you have to splash out on yourself…

Bookends II

Last year was a good year for reading (if nothing else). If you couldn’t work/travel/see people for real, at least you could encounter other worlds/perspectives/minds through the medium of the written word. And so I did. Here are some of the best ones I read, in no particular order:

Mindf*ck – Cambridge Analytica and the plot to break America (Wylie): the very scary story of how Brits and Americans were manipulated into supporting Brexit and Trump. A must read.

The Popes (Norwich): A concise history of all the incumbents who ever had the job of CEO of the most powerful organisation the world has ever seen.

Being a beast (Foster): The author immerses himself in the world of various animals – foxes, deer, otters, badgers and swallows – and tries to live life as they do. Odd but mesmerizing.

The hidden life of trees (Wohlleben): Reading this man’s take on the inner life of animals made me a vegetarian. While not quite as good this is still an astonishing book.

Waterlog (Deakin): One man’s quest to swim the different waters of Britain, this is an ode to the element, and a cultural history of the land to boot.

The wild places (MacFarlane): In search of wilderness in the British isles. Similar in many ways to Deakin’s book, it comes as no surprise that the two authors were friends.

The history of England, part 1 (Harrison): covers the period from the ice age to 1600. Very well written. I read it in Swedish but I believe it’s been translated.

Creating a forest garden (Crawford): While I have some quibbles with the content (or lack thereof) there is no doubt this book influenced me more than anything else I read this year.

Animal, vegetable, miracle (Kingsolver): Horrible title and cover design, but the quest of one family to be locavores (eating locally produced food) for a year is as eye-opening as it is heart-warming.

Gardens of the world – two thousand years of garden design (Pigeat): garden porn at its finest. If you’re not inspired to design landscapes after reading this I don’t know that you ever will be.

Economix – how our economy works (and doesn’t work) (Goodwin): If someone had told me I’d find a comic book about economics interesting I would have laughed, but I did. And it made me laugh, too.

Baustilkunde – alle Epoken und Stile (Reid): If you can’t travel, this books still lets you see all the architectural styles in the world. It’s part cultural history, part house porn, plus the drawings are fantastic.

How to draw (Spicer): I picked this up in London in January – little did I expect that I would find myself with so much time to practice, but what an excellent teacher it would turn out to be.

So there you go. An eclectic mix, and hopefully something for everyone. Whichever one of these you pick up I guarantee they will enrich your lives – and that’s not something you can say of many things. Happy reading!

Meant to bee

One of my long-standing ambitions has been to keep bees – to contribute to the fight against bee death, to help the environment in general, and specifically with my garden. Then a friend sent me a link to a new kind of hive that looked really cool, and in a moment of madness I ordered one, so now I had to figure out what it would take to actually do it!

After some snooping around I found a woman my age who keeps loads of bees, and was willing to teach me and provide me with a start-up miniplus (a small nuc, or society).

Our initial meeting wasn’t promising at first – her husband was clearly no fan of bees, and the mere mention of her taking me on as her student had him leaving the room – but once we were in the meadow across from their home things started to look up. Alexandra was clearly in her element, and moved from one mini-hive to the next with the grace of a Tai Chi master. Me, I felt quite clumsy in my new astronaut outfit but it’s interesting and fun, and for the most part the bees are very good-natured, which helped.

A couple of times the hives that we check do react rather aggressively but more often than not the bees let themselves be handled without any apparent concern at all – Alex even reaches in with her bare hand and pushes bees out of the way to show me stuff, something which I wouldn’t have thought possible in a million years.

And there is a lot of stuff to take in: reading the size of cells to determine what kind of bee is being bred; learning what signs to look for to see if a bee is a worker or a drone, old or young, of one species or another; looking at the hive’s behaviour to see how the queen is faring (and vice versa), and so on. It’s rather daunting, and the notion of a full-sized hive feels quite overwhelming, but I guess all beginners start out that way.

After three sessions I am deemed to be ready to care for my own bees (or rather, to not make a complete mess of things), and so I find myself early one morning driving home with a styrofoam box in the trunk filled to the brim with 3,000 new friends. With the exception of bringing my newborn children home from hospital I have never driven this carefully, albeit for different reasons! If these guys get out inside the car it won’t end well, and no lullaby in the world will change that. But nothing happens, the bees stay calm inside their sealed-up box, and accept their new home without fuzz.

The change is noticeable immediately. I never lacked for insects in my garden, but now there are bees on every flowering plant. Oregano, thyme and rocket are still in bloom, and there is a buzz of busy bees there from sunrise to sunset. I take paternal pride in just watching them going about their day – bringing back pollen from my butternut squash (protein rich for their young), making honey (sweet carbs for those long cold nights to come) and generally flying about, discovering their new surroundings.

The work doesn’t end here for me, however: the hive needs protection from mice, woodpeckers, badgers, other bees and the dread varroa. Then the girls need sugar to help them build reserves ahead of winter – as much as six kilos of sugar water before the temperature drops, but not so much as to block the queen from laying more eggs – making winter workers the colony will also need to survive.

And speaking of the queen: she should have been marked before she came here, but wasn’t, so under the carefully watching eyes of my teacher I have to reach into the seething mass of bees, pin her down gently with a finger (the queen, not my teacher), extract her with my bare hands, and paint a dot on her thorax with a marker, all the while having bees all around and all over me. It’s quite daunting, and I have to be reminded to breathe several times during the process, but it goes well, thankfully.

When I’m done Alexandra laughs. I ask what so funny, and she admits she’s never seen a beginner do that on the first attempt. Most bee keepers would use extraction tools and certainly never take off their gloves when performing this operation, she adds. I stare at her, disbelief mingled with pride – it apparently pays to not know what is supposedly not possible when attempting the impossible. I look back at the frames where my newly crowned queen is being greeted by her adulating subjects – one of whom I could arguably be said to be – and I can’t help but laugh, too; clearly this – and I – was meant to bee.

20-20 hindsight

I always try to sum up the year that was. This time around, it’s both easier and more difficult than usual. Easier, because life has been reduced to the bare essentials in many respects, and more difficult because… well, you know.

Corona/covid came out of nowhere and walloped the world in the face, and the world responded by reeling around like a clown as it tried to come to terms with this new reality.

As the illness went from being an underreported event in a far-flung place to conquering the world, masks became ever more commonplace, as did questions about Sweden’s approach to Covid, which I felt supremely unqualified to answer. Social distancing was the catch phrase on everyone’s (hidden) lips, and then Lockdown was a reality. The inherent flaws of humanity (Loo Roll Riots) and its capacity for empathy (daily Healthcare Applause) were on full display.

In our case the kids and their mom went on holiday to northern Italy in February, just when things got started there, so they had to quarantine before most people. Throughout spring the kids struggled with isolation, an entirely new work interface, and teachers who seemingly had no notion of the burden they were placing on their wards. Luckily for us, there was little work for interpreters, because there was no infrastructure in place to hold large multilingual conferences via internet, so we could help the kids with their transition to distance schooling.

Summer holidays were different, shall we say. Having struggled to even get to Sweden, we isolated as best we could. Whether rafting with the kids and my sister and her family, or kayaking with my brother, I slept outdoors pretty much the whole time – either in a tent or in a hammock slung between a couple of trees. It was lovely, but very brief, as I didn’t get all the leave I asked for (in spite of there being absolutely zero work, my employer insisted on having people on standby…), meaning I had to return to Belgium, where I was forced to self-isolate, and so couldn’t work anyway, of course.

Instead, my mind turned to all the things I had been contemplating doing for a long time, and hadn’t got around to. August saw me take on a flurry of projects: getting solar panels installed, buying a hybrid car, getting bees, planning a swimming pond, constructing a duck house, volunteering at a wildlife rescue center, getting an e-bike, making jams and juice and canning fruit and sauces. It was good.

Then September came around, and a return to school and work, but not as we knew it. School was a strange hybrid, work even more so. Even after more than half a year, both organizations were clearly struggling to come to terms with the new parameters. There was still precious little work for me, so I planned on going to the French alps for a week of paragliding. It wasn’t to be. La rentree had the predictable effect of making cases surge again, and I had to stay home. This was a blessing in disguise, as our beloved cat Misty suddenly died; had I gone I wouldn’t have been there to bury her and grieve her passing with the kids – a poignant reminder of how many people lost loved ones without being able to be there! As it was we buried her in her favorite spot in the garden on the last day of summer. She left a painfully large void in all our lives.

And so we struggled on. Like everyone else we have tried to cope as best we can. In many ways we have been incredibly lucky, in that no one in our family has died from Covid. We still have our jobs. We haven’t been too affected by the many nasty (and under-reported) side effects of Lockdown and isolation, such as domestic violence, depression, substance abuse (ok, fine, sugar consumption levels have been too high). The garden has been an oasis and a constant source of joy.

It does sort of seem like a lost year in some ways, but at the same time I feel very strongly that the world needed this enforced pause to stop and take stock and reflect on where we go from here. I have certainly done so. And even though my ambitions for this year were largely knocked sideways, I have still managed to fulfill some of them: apart from the projects already mentioned I reconnected with old friends and made new ones – you know who you are! – and I did have some fantastic adventures in spite of the limits on travel. Forced to stay at home I did read a lot more than I otherwise would, and played a ton of piano – ninety-nine more years of solitude and I might even get good at it…

So there you go. A year like no other. Some good things, mixed in with a LOT of crap. But this, too, shall pass. Vaccines are coming, the Trump era is hopefully nearing its end (and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see him and his cronies go to prison!), and maybe, just maybe, we can build a better world on the ruins of this one*. If there is one thing that this year has instilled in me, it’s the need for everyone to pitch in and do what has to be done in order for all to prosper.

Here’s to making sure that things improve in 2021!

*Of course, we probably have not seen the last of it yet. Trump declaring martial law in 2021 seems unlikely but then so did Brexit in 2015, and now we have Russian oligarchs buying lordships in the House of Lords even as the country prepares to hurl itself into the abyss.

Great, gravity-defying tits 

I’m so sorry. You came here hoping for mammaries, didn’t you? 

No can do, I’m afraid. But despair not. Today was a day of wonders greater than surgically enhanced bosoms. Today was the day when the hatchlings from the nest of great tits in my hedge took the great leap into the void, and I was there to watch it. 

Think about it for a second. Your whole life you’ve been confined to a cosy bed, your parents bringing you yummy, wormy treats all day long, and then suddenly this urge strikes you: I must throw myself into the air and soar. It’s a crazy notion, but it might just work, right?

Wrong. There’s a steep learning curve to flying even if you’re born to do it, it seems. The three chicks are emphatically not good at it. They crash into things, miscalculate distances and generally make, well, tits of themselves in the process. It’s painful to watch, really. 

They call to one another and their parents, but there’s nothing the elder generation can do but watch as their offspring fail Aviation 101. One particularly unlucky fellow smacks into the trunk of the crab apple tree where the rest have managed to congregate, and gets irrevocably trapped in the undergrowth. 

I watch it struggle for a long time, reluctant to intervene, but in the end there’s nothing I can do but pick it up. It’s the tiniest little thing, short wings and scruffy head, but it’s plucky and perky, and stays on my hand without a worry in the world, seemingly sunning itself and calling to the rest of the family as if to say “Check ME out!” (Tits do that).

I have to nudge it to finally convince it to hop onto a branch of the tree, but once reunited – and having received a restorative maggot from mom or dad – it seems content to continue its aviary adventures. 

Me, I spend the rest of the morning at a respectful distance, listening to their calls from afar, a big, big smile on my face, thankful that my garden gives me such moments of unadulterated pleasure. If you can’t fly yourself, then surely the next best thing is to watch the next generation do it?

Three great tits. Not a caption you’d normally want to see.

Bokashi – the Way of the Eco Warrior

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You don’t even have to chop stuff into pieces. Unless you want to.

You may have heard of Bushidō – the Way of the Warrior in feudal Japan. It was literally the code of moral principles that the Samurai should live their lives by.

I have a great fascination for that epoch, but today I won’t talk about the Samurai – instead I want to introduce you to an equally venerable tradition from Nippon, namely Bokashi. It, too, encompasses a moral code, namely the most basic principle of ethics we have to live by: give back as much as you can of what you take from the Earth. In a word – recycle. The Way of the Eco Warrior, if you will. Or the Eco Worrier, perhaps.

Bokashi is a composting system that enables users to completely avoid wasting food. I had been looking to find an indoor-compatible compost for several years when I came across it. Having discarded the idea of having a worm compost as being too fiddly (and also likely to leave me abandoned by my family), this seemed to good to be true when I read about it – no smell, no creepy crawlies, and an end product that could go directly into the flower beds without attracting rodents and the like, even if I put fish or meat in it? Where do I sign up?

The volumes of food and leftovers that are thrown away annually in the western world are stunning, and I’m no better at this than anyone else – quite the contrary! – but this type of compost – an improvement upon a centuries old technique consisting of burying scraps deep underground makes me feel almost virtuous about chucking out stuff that’s past its sell-by date, and has made me less prone to harass the kids in an effort to get them to eat up their Brussels sprouts – both decidedly good things.

So how does it work? When you buy a bokashi kit you get two plastic containers (thoughtfully designed to fit under your average kitchen sink) and a bag of Bokashi brans – essentially saw dust enriched with particularly beneficial microorganisms that kickstart the composting – that you scatter a handful of on top your scraps every time you add something to the container. Why two containers? Because once one is full it should ideally be placed somewhere cool and dark to ferment before the process has run its course and the end product can be placed in your garden compost/borders/potted plant. There’s even a handy tap that grants you easy access to the juices that collect at the bottom of the vessel, which can be used to revive any dying plants. Sure, it seems expensive, but given what potting soil costs per sack, you will soon break even.

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Ya should’ve seen the other guy!

Now I have never in my life gone on record endorsing a product. Normally I don’t even endorse product endorsement, but this thing is too good not to tell people about. So what are you waiting for? Buy yourself a kit, buy one for your dear old mum, or give your loved one a present they will never expect – and if they complain, tell them it will all come up roses in the end.

The Adventures of Spike

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It all began with a dying duck. A mallard, to be precise, that the children had discovered in their mother’s hedge. It had clearly been hurt, and they were very upset about it all, especially Childe One, who has a soft spot for all animals, down to and including insects. This happened on a Sunday, and as their mom was going to be away all week, it was up to me to don the shining armour and rescue the poor critter first thing after school Monday. Shining armour – or rather a big blanket and the cat’s travel cage – stowed in the car we set off, and found the sad-looking thing hiding not a metre away from where the kids had found it in the first place.

It was almost too easy to grab the mallard, its one leg and one wing hanging at odd angles from its body. I realised with a sinking heart that we were going to have to deal with a death in the family, but off we went to an animal sanctuary, where the bird was duly handed over to the volunteers amid furrowed brows and shaken heads. To distract the kids I asked if there other animals in residence, and was told that there were, in fact, four hedgehog babies that the kids were welcome to have a look at if they cared to. You can see where this is going, right?

Three weeks later I’m back at the sanctuary. The news of the duck’s demise has been drowned out by tidings of joy (suitably, as we’re entering the month of December soon): one of the hedgehogs is to be given a new lease of life chez nous. I install a special hedgehog house in the kitchen, and bar the entrance with a couple of planks. The transition is easy, as the prickly little thing is hidden in a bunched-up ball of straw, so I simply lift the whole thing from the cat cage onto the floor and put the house on top.

And there it stays. Not a sound, not a movement for the first couple of hours. Misty the cat comes and inspects the house – essentially a man-made cave, complete with tunnel entrance, and nothing. I wait up until midnight, and nothing. The second evening is different. Spike (as it has been named) emerges, and explores its new environment, stopping along the way to nibble at the pellets I’ve placed around the room. In spite of my presence Spike is totally unfazed, even hiding behind my seated frame – a hedgehog can famously never be buggered at all, after all. That’s only as long as I remain still, however. If I move the spiky one growls at me and rolls into a ball in time-honoured fashion.

We keep Spike in the kitchen for a couple of days, and apart from becoming less and less careful about where to go potty, our less-than-sonic friend seems to settle in well. But of course it was never the idea that we would keep it as a pet, so one day I again lift the entire house and its contents unto the terrace. I figure it will be warmer there, and so hopefully a nice place for Spikey to spend the winter.

Alas, only a few days later when I carefully sneak a glance inside, my fears are confirmed. Spike is gone. Famously prickly(!) about where they hibernate, hedgehogs will not easily accept homes that are thrust upon them – and in fairness, a home that occasionally levitates would not feel safe to most of us. There is still hope, however. The garden does have a shed in the furthest corner, which could easily accommodate a hedgehog underneath it, and since the garden is surrounded by fences and hedges, the risks are limited, as long as it doesn’t venture onto the road.

And so there is little to do but hope for the best. A hedgehog’s greatest enemy is the car, against which it has no defence – indeed, the hedgehog has become endangered in many areas precisely because it’s meandering nocturnal searches for food leaves it particularly vulnerable to traffic. Many people have never seen a hedgehog in any other state than flattened, sad to say. But we have fond memories of Spike, at least, and imagine that one day it might reappear. Until this week, when I’m lunching on the terrace for the first time. Suddenly there’s a stirring in amongst the tulips and aquilegias, and I grind my teeth, thinking that our kitchen compost has attracted rats, in spite of us using a bokashi. But my fears prove groundless, because there, not a metre away from where I last saw it, is Spike, or if not Spike, then at least a very healthy-looking hedgehog, rooting about and occasionally peeping out to check on me.

It’s about twice the size Spike was when we released it, so clearly adult, and doesn’t seem to mind my intrusion, particularly not as I present it with a bowl of lovely mealworms. If it is Spike, it must have hibernated nearby, at least. The kids are super excited, and me, too. I’ve always wanted a garden that is wildlife friendly, and this is certainly an example of success in that regard. Who knows, we might even have a whole new set of hedgehog babies before long…

 

If you want to adopt a hedgehog there are plenty of sanctuaries out there that will happily provide you with one, as long as you have a suitable habitat for them – that means a fairly large garden, preferably quite overgrown and protected, and with no dogs. If at all possible, there should be no way for the animals to reach roads, but that’s almost impossible to ensure. Do get in touch with your local sanctuary. We used Birdsbay, and they are typical in that they rely on volunteers to care for rescued animals. 

Fun, forest, fun!

After a hectic week at work, is there anything better than getting out in nature?

It was a typical April weekend, with clouds, rain, sun, blue skies, hail and snow, all mixed up good, but I managed to spend hours and hours in the garden, weeding my way through the borders until my fingertips ached at the merest touch. It’s a tough job, but satisfying, especially since the difference is immediately noticeable, and besides, this is my favourite time of the year to be in the garden: everything is in bloom, and birds are chirping everywhere.

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From a distance the weeds are invisible. Up close, invincible.

Speaking of blooms, this is also the season for bluebells, and nowhere are they more impressive than in the Blue Forest Hallerbos, near Waterloo, where Mother Nature has seen fit to put on a real extravaganza for about two weeks every spring, when gazillions of the dainty hyacinths turn the forest floor into a carpet of the deepest purple blue imaginable.

We braved the dark skies and went late in the afternoon on Saturday, eyeing the clouds as we drove, but by the time we got there the clouds (and the crowds) had dispersed, and we had the whole glorious display almost to ourselves (Relatively speaking. It’s so popular, and the time of flowering so brief, that there are always people around, but at least we didn’t outnumber the bluebells, which apparently sometimes happens…).

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Why it’s called the Blue Forest is anyone’s guess.

Sunday brought more of the same weather – a perfect setting for my first duathlon, a local race in the English park of Chateau La Hulpe in the neighbouring village, and the stately forest behind it that is my playground par preference. A duathlon combines running and biking, and in this case the set-up was two loops of 2k running, followed by two loops of 11k biking and ending with one final 2k loop on foot.

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Vertigo is normal at dizzying heights, right?

It was a fun way to switch up my long workout of the week, and my experience left me with a newfound respect for mountain bikers – I don’t recall ever having scared when running, but whilst rocketing down steep, narrow slopes on my bike, with other bikers trying to overtake me, I did consider my mortality, and how the impact of an unseen root or a false move could affect me in that regard. Thankfully neither occurred, and I made it through without incident, although getting off the bike to run the last lap was hard, stiff legs and numb bum and all.
This was my first official foray into combined sports, and although it was hard it certainly wasn’t impossible, so it did whet my appetite for more. A quarter ironman triathlon is 1k swimming, 40k biking (not mountain biking tho!) and 10k running – something to ponder, that.
All in all, not a bad weekend of outdoor adventures – both peaceful and less so – right on my doorstep!

Paris II

September 2015

I’m back in Paris, and for a very specific reason. It’s their Car Free Day Sunday, and I’ve come to test run the Paris marathon, or at least parts thereof, to see if it might be my cup of tea (or verre de vin, as the case might be).

I get there early to soak up the atmosphere and enjoy that particular joie de vivre that is so uniquely Parisian. A freelance colleague has kindly offered me the use of a pied à terre in her possession; it’s in an old Hausmann building, made up of two chambres de bonne – maid’s rooms – where the wall has been opened up to create a bigger space. Bigger is a relative term, of course, as it is still minute, but it feels very authentic and even has the obligatory view of the Eiffel Tower that all rooms in Paris must have (according to movie laws, at least).

We make the most of the sunny weather on the Saturday and take the train out to Giverney, where Monet lived and painted his famous impressionist works (including the water lilies that adorned every other dorm room I ever set foot in as a student). I’m cautiously pessimistic, thinking that September might be the worst of time to visit, but I am soon proven wrong; the garden is overflowing with flowers, different Dahlias in their hundreds foremost amongst them, and the adjacent pond park (actually not a part of the gardens proper) is magical, all bluish-green hues, dappled sunlight, and of course the Japanese bridges (plural – I always thought it was just the one) serving as focal points. It’s only a shame Monet was too short-sighted to do it all justice in his paintings… 😉

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Sunday is carefree if not exactly car free; Parisians don’t like to be without their cars much, it seems, so the car free zone is limited in space and time to the centre of town and is enacted only as of 11 AM. It’s a glorious day, however, and once we get out (using the claustrophobically closet-sized elevator) we make good use of the Promenade Plantée – a disused elevated railway that predates its New York cousin by a decade – to get downtown, where we continue running up and down Champs Élysées, along the Seine, through the Louvre and the royal gardens all the way to the Eiffel Tower and back. People are out and about everywhere, strolling, long boarding, skating, biking and generally enjoying the novelty of not being subjected to the bull run-like conditions that normally rule the streets of Paris.

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For three hours we run at a leisurely pace, and even though we don’t quite manage to recreate the marathon it’s still a very special feeling to run here. My colleague, who is more Fighter than Lover (of running) does show real fighting spirit, and actually runs her first half marathon that day, before sending me off back home again (presumably with a sigh of relief and a groan of pain).

As for me, chances are I’ll be back for the real thing next spring, car Paris (car free or no) l’oblige.